Thursday, October 13, 2005

Godspeed, Little Man

Here we are, in the midst of all the preparations for October 15th. This is such a huge day for The Shining Light Fund, as we join with others in the community to outwardly show support for families and honor their babies. We've been crazy with preparations (hence my blog absence)...advertising, setting the program, phone calls, you name it. And then last night I hear the news about another dumpster baby, a little baby boy left in a little white box to die. And he did.

It's really not uncommon to hear about babies literally being thrown away in Los Angeles. In fact I think the term "dumpster baby" was coined here, though those two words were never meant to go together. But we're hearing an awful lot about this baby because authorities actually found his mother - Holly Ashcraft, a student at USC. She had hidden her pregnancy from everyone. And she thought she could hide the baby, too. But an anonymous homeless man collecting cans found the baby, called the police, and started a series of events that led to Holly's arrest and charge with murder.

There's so much to take in from this story. My heart breaks for this baby boy who struggled to live, giving up his last breath inside that box. I am enraged by Holly's actions and her complete disregard for life - not even a foreign life, a life that came from within herself. And I feel an almost eager anticipation at seeing what will come from this. How will the public react to a woman being charged with murder in this circumstance?

It's so hard for me to reconcile that this woman could have gone in for an abortion just weeks ago, and everything would be fine. But because she killed her baby by leaving him to die now, she's a murderer. Can these two things really exist simultaneously in one "civilized" society? Apparently so.

I just want people to decide. Make up your mind. If you really believe that a fetus is not a baby, what is it? And when does it become a baby? And if it's a baby, is it a person? And if it's a person, how do you put a value on his life? And how can you guarantee me that you have all the right answers to these questions?

I'm so tired of people talking out of both sides of their mouth and making the rules about life according to convenience. That's not the way it is. The sky is blue. Life is life. You can't change that.

I must add that I am not a completely heartless person. I've thought a lot about what Holly must have felt during her pregnancy. I don't know her at all, but from what's been reported on the news, she was suspended from USC for academic problems and she kept the baby a secret. I would guess that she was acting on 100% fear. Her parents wouldn't understand, a baby would complicate her education and career goals, she was in a really frightening place. But to say that what she did was justified by her circumstances is to say that her life was more valuable than her baby's, and I'm in no position to make that call.

For now I rest in the knowledge that Baby Ashcraft is safe in the most loving place and in the most loving hands imaginable. His life means something. If not to his mother or anyone else, at least to me. I know he was created for a purpose and I may never know what that is. But I don't have to.

Thanks for listening.

2 comments:

Aunt Wendy said...

Carrie,
Please take the knowledge that your questions and non-understanding are, in themselves, an answer. That baby may bring about major changes in our society, or he may being none. You honor him in acknowledging him. He is loved...maybe not by one who should.. but by one who can

Anonymous said...

I just got finished watching a news report and I don't think I have ever been more disgusted and angered in my life as I am right now. Ms. Ashcraft will not stand trial for murder, she may, and I stress may, only be charged with child abuse. What is wrong with our society when a woman (not a girl) can kill two children and walk? These incidents happened two years in a row. Did she not learn the first time? How could she not know she was pregnant? People need to remember that she is a third year student at a major university. She is not a stupid girl by any means. I would just like to know, knowing that she had just been investigated for possible murder charges in April after the birth of her first child, why was she still having unprotected sex, putting herself at risk for the same thing? I'd also like to know, who is the father of these shildren and what does he/they sa about all of this? I have a 19 month old son and a 7 month old daughter, my son was born about a week before baby Ashcraft, and he was born at USC. I was sickend when this was first reported. I would look at my newborn son and I could never fathim why anyone would do that to their own child. What could possibly justify that?? I know baby Ashcraft is in a better place, it just breaks my heart knowing that what he needed the most in life was to cuddled in his mothers arms and instead what he got was a cold and cruel death in a box. My only hope now is that his mother meet the same fate, if not here and now, then when she meets her maker.