Tuesday, October 25, 2005


To bring forth life and watch it pass away,
To see hope spread wide from one so small,
To learn the many sizes and shapes of love,
This is the blessing of being chosen.

To be held up when all strength is gone,
To have stillness amidst the noise,
To understand the joys of sorrow,
This is the blessing of being chosen.

To hold new life and watch it grow,

To see a dream fulfilled each new day,
To love beyond all that is known,
This is the blessing of being chosen.

To be part of the great but love the simple,
To reach outside and be touched within,
To look for the giver before the gift,
This is the blessing of being chosen.
Happy Birthday, baby boy. You and your sister fill me up to overflowing. I'm so thankful I've been chosen.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Godspeed, Little Man

Here we are, in the midst of all the preparations for October 15th. This is such a huge day for The Shining Light Fund, as we join with others in the community to outwardly show support for families and honor their babies. We've been crazy with preparations (hence my blog absence)...advertising, setting the program, phone calls, you name it. And then last night I hear the news about another dumpster baby, a little baby boy left in a little white box to die. And he did.

It's really not uncommon to hear about babies literally being thrown away in Los Angeles. In fact I think the term "dumpster baby" was coined here, though those two words were never meant to go together. But we're hearing an awful lot about this baby because authorities actually found his mother - Holly Ashcraft, a student at USC. She had hidden her pregnancy from everyone. And she thought she could hide the baby, too. But an anonymous homeless man collecting cans found the baby, called the police, and started a series of events that led to Holly's arrest and charge with murder.

There's so much to take in from this story. My heart breaks for this baby boy who struggled to live, giving up his last breath inside that box. I am enraged by Holly's actions and her complete disregard for life - not even a foreign life, a life that came from within herself. And I feel an almost eager anticipation at seeing what will come from this. How will the public react to a woman being charged with murder in this circumstance?

It's so hard for me to reconcile that this woman could have gone in for an abortion just weeks ago, and everything would be fine. But because she killed her baby by leaving him to die now, she's a murderer. Can these two things really exist simultaneously in one "civilized" society? Apparently so.

I just want people to decide. Make up your mind. If you really believe that a fetus is not a baby, what is it? And when does it become a baby? And if it's a baby, is it a person? And if it's a person, how do you put a value on his life? And how can you guarantee me that you have all the right answers to these questions?

I'm so tired of people talking out of both sides of their mouth and making the rules about life according to convenience. That's not the way it is. The sky is blue. Life is life. You can't change that.

I must add that I am not a completely heartless person. I've thought a lot about what Holly must have felt during her pregnancy. I don't know her at all, but from what's been reported on the news, she was suspended from USC for academic problems and she kept the baby a secret. I would guess that she was acting on 100% fear. Her parents wouldn't understand, a baby would complicate her education and career goals, she was in a really frightening place. But to say that what she did was justified by her circumstances is to say that her life was more valuable than her baby's, and I'm in no position to make that call.

For now I rest in the knowledge that Baby Ashcraft is safe in the most loving place and in the most loving hands imaginable. His life means something. If not to his mother or anyone else, at least to me. I know he was created for a purpose and I may never know what that is. But I don't have to.

Thanks for listening.